


A Debatably Ordinary Relationship

by Justicetom



Category: AI: The Somnium Files (Video Game)
Genre: Family Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Neither of the Sagans are straight I don't make the rules, Post-Canon, Post-True Route, spoilers for true ending obviously, this is just a story about these dorks having fun together because i love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-09 17:49:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20998871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justicetom/pseuds/Justicetom
Summary: The Sagan-Okiura-Date household having fun and talking to each other while they have dinner





	A Debatably Ordinary Relationship

**Author's Note:**

> Upon finishing the game I was filled with a powerful urge to write about these losers having fun together  
Enjoy if you want to, it was mostly just self-indulgence

“Girls, it’s time for dinner!” Hitomi called, setting plates on the table. Two yells - one much louder than the other - echoed from down the hall, and soon enough the two had arrived. 

‘So what were you two rascals up to in there? More of that digging game?” Date asked, an eyebrow raised as he lounged backwards in his chair, a leg very prominently displayed on the table. Mizuki gagged, while Iris just shook her head and laughed.

“Leg down, dear, we don’t want your feet in our food.” Hitomi scolded, lightly slapping his thigh with a fork. Date grinned, but acquiesced, sitting up and taking an uncharacteristically proper pose at the table, dignified expression on his face. 

“Y’know, he almost looks like a civilised member of society like that. You should try that more often, Date.” Mizuki commented, waving a hand at his nice posture as she took her seat at the table. 

“Wha- Hey! I always look like a civilised member of society! I don’t even have weird hair or heterochromia anymore!”

“And just like that, any trace of civility has vanished from anywhere except his left eye socket.” Aiba commented, her projection appearing in the seat beside Mizuki. Date glared at Aiba and Mizuki, and then at the giggling Iris, enjoying the show they so regularly put on for her.

“Alright, you three, break it up. There’ll be plenty of time for arguing about whether Date can be civilised later. You don’t want your food to get cold!” 

The family began to dig in, Date and Mizuki shooting each other mocking, mostly joking sneers every so often. Aiba - as she was wont to do - was the first to break the quiet of eating.

“I am still curious, as you never answered Date’s question. What were you two doing in there? Iris did not appear to be streaming, and I detect no recordings saved in the past hour.”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, we were testing out a new game to see if it’d be something we’d like to play on stream! It had good performance, and it was a lot of fun, and it’s had a recent boom in popularity, so we think it’ll do well!” Iris said, swallowing down a gulp of food before she answered. Mizuki nodded beside her, focused entirely on her food. 

“Hey, I haven’t asked in a while, how’s school? Both of you, I mean. Any boys catch your eye?” Date asked, prompting an eye-roll from Mizuki. 

“No.”

“Any girls?”

“No. I live with Iris, how is anybody my age supposed to impress me? They’re all so lame and immature. They don’t even look good either.” 

“What about you, Iris? Anybody that Ota’ll want to hunt down?”

“Ota wouldn’t hunt anybody down! I hope. But nah, the only date I’ve had recently was with you, Uncle!”

“Good to hear. You’re both too young to date.” Date sat up in his seat and looked directly at the girls, glancing from one to the other. He held two fingers up to his eyes, and pointed them at the two in turn.

“You’re just lucky Mo- Hitomi likes you, Date, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to date either!” 

“Hey now, it’s not my fault I lost my much more attractive body. I used to be swarmed by girls left and right. This body means I only have to chase off a few a day!” Date looked pointedly at his adopted daughter, ignoring her near slip of the tongue, as she stuck that same tongue out at him in response. “You’ll catch flies like that, y’know.” Mizuki, clearly disgusted by the concept, put her tongue back in her mouth.

“I think you’re more than handsome, Date, honey. I much prefer this body to the old one.” Hitomi smiled at the detective, placing her hand on his. Date just shook his head and scoffed.

“Yeah, yeah, sure, you say that now, but the only thing Saito had going for him was his looks. When I was in that body, I was the best looking detective in Tokyo. Hell, Japan! You’d be singing a different tune if you ever saw me naked in that body, trust me.”

“We don’t want to hear about that, you old pervert!” 

“I, for one, much prefer this new body of yours, Date. Not only is it your actual body, but I no longer need to regularly supplement you with oxytocin to make up for the natural deficiency. You get a surplus from interacting with your family as it is.” Aiba commented dryly. Date opened his mouth to respond, and then, much like a fish, closed it again. 

“I- Aiba! Don’t say that!”

“Why not? It is simply true.”

“It’s embarrassing!”

“Aww, does the dummy Date not want to admit he loves us? What a baby.” If that girl wasn’t careful, he was going to go and buy some flies for her to catch.

“Yeah, Uncle! You’re a sap on the inside, just admit it already!”

Date groaned, putting his face on the table, hiding a grin. Hitomi squeezed his hand from beside him, soft smile as she looked at the shock of dark messy hair, as Mizuki piped up from the other side of the table. 

“But hey, Date, it sounds like at least Hitomi would have competition from one girl in your current body. Isn’t that right, Aiba?” 

“I… have no idea what you are talking about. Even if I were to have a corporeal human form, I do not believe Hitomi would have any competition from myself in any way.” Aiba stared passively at Mizuki, a carefully practiced neutral gaze. 

“If Aiba was real, I think Date would have more competition for Aiba than I would for him. I’m sorry, honey, but your eyeball is way prettier than you are.” Hitomi teased, running a finger across her partner’s hand. 

“Wait, really? You’d go after Aiba?” Date shot up, legitimate surprise on his face.

“Of course I would! I was quite the ladies’ woman back in my youth, I’ll have you know. If Manaka hadn’t fallen for So…” Hitomi grinned, a mischievous light in her eyes as the rest of the table took a moment to process that.

“... Wait, really? Mom, you had a thing for my mother? You like girls?” Iris piped up, surprise, shock, and a strange joy on her face in a confusing mash of emotional turmoil. Hitomi winked and smiled, her lips apparently sealed tightly on the matter.

_Aiba, thermograph._ Date thought at his partner, legitimately uncertain as to whether Hitomi was simply messing with her daughter or if she legitimately had history with Manaka.  
_No. That is for you to find out on your own._ He glared across the table at Aiba’s projection, who met his glare with a steely, but teasing smile.

“Oh, come on, Aiba!” 

“What did Aiba do?” Iris asked, confused at the sudden outburst. Date shook his head as the AI laughed. 

“Regardless, that’s all in the past. Unfortunately for all of us, nobody’s invented a full-size Aiba robot yet.” Hitomi commented, glancing at the projection.

“Oh! Could Pewter do that?” Mizuki asked, looking at Date with wide and hopeful eyes.

“Of course not, he’s supposed to be in prison right now. Even if Kaniza is watching him, they’re not gonna let him make a full robot body. Letting him recreate Aiba was enough of a mess of red tape as it was!” 

“Oh, huh. Right, I forgot about that. Does he really deserve to be locked up?” Iris asked, more to herself than the table. There was a beat before anybody responded.

“I mean, you said once that he did it because he was Daddy’s… new lover, right? I can’t really blame him for what he did.” Mizuki offered quietly, a strange look on her face.

“He let a known serial killer - a man he knew to be one of the Cyclops Killers - escape! Whether or not it was for Renju, you’re not exactly allowed to do that, especially if you’re in ABIS. Even Boss’d have trouble sweeping that one under the rug.” Date protested, voice lacking conviction.

“We all do strange things for those we care about, _Falco._ He clearly regrets his actions now. It wasn’t even Renju who asked for his help. Iris has a point.” Hitomi challenged. 

“Hey, new body, new me.”

“It’s not even your new body, it’s your old one!”

“It counts, it’s still the new me. Date is way cooler than Yagyu ever was, I’m pretty sure.”

“What do you mean, you’re pretty sure? They’re your memories, Uncle, shouldn’t you be able to tell?” Iris raised an eyebrow at the detective, crossing her arms and tilting her head to the side.

“... I still don’t have them all back, and the ones I do have tend to be fragmented. I can figure out a Somnium more easily than I can figure out what was going on in some of Yagyu’s memories, and I can’t even tell if they’re all real. I have a vivid memory of shooting So in the head, but that might just be wishful thinking.” Date admitted, a wry smile crossing his face.

“Indeed, from most of your memories that I have had access to throughout your dreams, the vast majority are purely memories involving Iris, Hitomi, or both of them. Your grasp on memories not pertaining to those is tenuous at best, and completely non-existent at worst.” Aiba commented, earning smiles and a few chuckles from the two Sagans.

“Aww, Uncle, you really are a sap, aren’t you? You remember how much you love us, that’s so sweet!”

There was another pause while everybody laughed at the yet-again embarrassed Date (seriously, was he ever going to get a break?), before Aiba chimed in again.

“While I hate to break the illusion, not all of the memories are of a nature that you would refer to as ‘sappy’. Indeed, many of the ones involving Hitomi are…” Aiba trailed off, glancing between Mizuki and Iris.

“We don’t need to hear about that, Aiba!” Mizuki gagged, with the much more innocent idol beside her taking a solid few seconds before she realised what Mizuki was so offended by.

“Ew! We don’t want to hear about Uncle and Mom!”

“Oh, really? You don’t want to know about what your mother and I get up to when you’re not around? Why, just last night-” Date’s playful tone was very quickly interrupted by a small form hurtling across the table at him. He pushed backwards on reflex, sending both himself and his chair rocking backwards, and was promptly greeted with a hand covering his mouth.

“Not. Another. Word.” Mizuki glowered down at him, a deadly stare in her eyes. There was a moment of silence, before the three women still seated at the table simultaneously burst into fits of raucous laughter. Date smiled, beneath the hand on his mouth. He wasn’t sure if this was anything anybody would ever call ordinary, but he’d be damned if it wasn’t a family all the same. His family.


End file.
